16: Rebuilding from the dust: Self-trust, grace + the Liberation Codex with Jen Allyson
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Julie Francis (she/her) (00:00)
Hello and welcome to Holistic Chaos. I'm your host Julie. I'm an astrologer and founder of Wild Radiance Collective. And today I am joined by Jen Allison, an oracle and dragon mother. She is the owner of Mythic Love and author and creator of the Oracle Deck, the Liberation Codex, Architects of the New Eden. I am so thrilled to have you here today and to be chatting with you.
Jen Allyson (00:27)
Thanks so much for having me. I am just like, was so excited to get here and be here and this is just my favorite thing to do.
Julie Francis (she/her) (00:34)
Awesome. I love having these conversations and getting to hear people's stories and connect everybody and bring everybody together in community. So I'm glad you're so excited to be here too. And I'm so excited to hear about so many things we've talked about in our brief little banter before starting the recording today. your bio packs so much information and just...
makes you so curious and I know we're gonna dive into it as we talk. we're gonna start with our big question every time we start one of these episodes and that is what's been your biggest what the fuck moment in midlife and how did it change you? How has it shaped you?
Jen Allyson (01:19)
While I went through the biggest awakening, I was raised in a cult. I was raised in Mormonism, very orthodox Mormonism. And when I was 34 years old, I realized it was a cult. And my entire life fell apart. Every single, from tip to stern, it was all completely disintegrated and gone. And I grew up generationally within the church. So seven generations of...
So it was everything I knew, every shred of reality, every, like my career was tied up within Mormonism. Obviously my relationships, I had small children at the time and all of my family and all of my relationships. So it was just like going from like, basically like you're walking through life, like feeling like you know everything.
And that was like a big ⁓ vocabulary part of being raised. I think in any cult, you kind of start with the I knows. So you're taught, I know this church is true. I know these men are here to lead me. And you're indoctrinated into that language every single day. So I went from a space of I know, I know, I know, to a space of I have no idea. And so it was really terrifying because...
So everything that I thought I knew about the world was built on a false foundation.
Julie Francis (she/her) (02:46)
That's mind blowing. That is literally exactly what you would imagine with like, what the fuck?
Jen Allyson (02:48)
Yeah.
Yeah, I like to describe it as like a vase, like falling off of like a thousand story building. By the time it gets to the ground, it just pulverizes into dust. So you would have never known that it was a vase because it's just dust. So there's nothing to pick up. There's nothing to reassemble. The only thing that you can do is like release it all and start from the beginning again. So that's what I did at 34, 35.
Julie Francis (she/her) (03:07)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (03:26)
And I ended up getting a divorce and discovering that I was gay. So even my sexual identity had this, everything about my identity shifted because I had built an identity around the cult. And they don't want you to have your individual identity, they want you to have a homogenous identity that fits in with everything that they stand for and believe in.
Julie Francis (she/her) (03:36)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (03:54)
I had to go through a complete ⁓ releasing of every idea that I had about myself and allow those all to fall away. And then a complete restructuring of my entire identity.
Julie Francis (she/her) (04:08)
Wow, that analogy of the vase falling from such a height is the perfect analogy. Being someone that does a lot of personal contemplation and self-awareness work, and that's like a big part of what I do in everything in my life, the major asset of that is that you have pieces you're pulling from.
Like you have something, I learned this, I know this, but like when like you said, you don't know something and like, just, to not have things to grasp at, I just wonder how that, I just can't imagine how that would feel and what you've learned about yourself in the way, like to...
Jen Allyson (04:58)
Yeah.
Julie Francis (she/her) (05:02)
How have you allowed yourself to be guided during that time to find what was next for you?
Jen Allyson (05:11)
You know, it was really hard at first, especially. It was hard, like, through different stages. But in the beginning, you don't know who to trust or who to believe or what, you know, and you don't have any of the information that I've gathered over the last 10 years of like, trust yourself, go inside. You don't have any of that information. So it's like, you just like, are kind of like shooting in the dark. And I actually met my wife.
a few months after I left. And she had been raised Catholic and left at like early teens. And it's very much like a integrity, like truth seeker type of personality. And so she was able to help guide me through at a certain point. But even before that, it was like, you kind of go through a teenage phase, like where you have to like really like
push hard against any boundaries that you'd been given because you were told all these ⁓ ways of self reclamation or self knowledge were evil. And so you have to go through this process where you have to see if it really is going to be harmful for you to go drink alcohol or to go to parties or to even see R rated movies, things that are maybe normal for other people.
had such big programming around, if you do these things, you are a bad person. so, teenage phase is the best way I can describe it because you're essentially a rebellious teenager who has to go and try all these things because the information you were given was false. And so you need to know what's true for you. So it's a lot of throwing yourself against the wall in the dark and hoping that you'll receive vital information to help for your next steps.
Julie Francis (she/her) (07:04)
Yeah, teenage, teenage era or chapter, like that makes a lot of sense. And yeah, it's like everything's a playground and you've got to figure out what you rub up against on your own terms.
Jen Allyson (07:21)
Right, right, and with very little knowledge, you're very naive. So, you know, it's easy to get like STDs or sexually assaulted and those types of things because people will take advantage of you. You no longer have that protection that the cult was providing you, but you're also so naive and innocent because you were raised very sheltered.
Julie Francis (she/her) (07:35)
Yeah.
Yeah, my gosh, yeah, that's, I just had so many questions pop up and I was considering going down like a serious route, but we're gonna go down a super playful, ridiculous route. And that's that, do you have an example of the oddest or like dumbest kind of moment you had where you were like, why didn't I just know that? Or like, why did I do that? Like, did you have any of those moments where you were like,
Jen Allyson (07:53)
Okay.
Julie Francis (she/her) (08:10)
Really? Okay, I did that.
Jen Allyson (08:12)
I'm
trying to think. I feel like that was like so many of them because you're just like, you're just like there to like play, I guess, like even like you say, like a playful funny question. I just can't think of anything like off the top of my head. But one of the things that I really like fell into that helped me a lot was I started doing karaoke every week and it was a way to like just be like someone different.
Julie Francis (she/her) (08:17)
Hahaha
Jen Allyson (08:42)
to connect with other people who were doing those type of things and really like find my voice. that was something that I would have been scared to do before in general, like going in front of a microphone and singing and all those things. And it was really helpful in my journey to kind of like anchor me to my ability to do scary things, I guess.
Julie Francis (she/her) (09:05)
Yes. my gosh. That resonates with me so much. It's similar to things I've had happen in my past. I went through a karaoke stint that helped me through a hard time. And then also even now as I do more vocal training and consider one day maybe performing and things like that. So like that really resonates with me. I love that. So, all right. So we went down the playful fun route. Are you comfortable sharing something that was really hard that...
hit you out of nowhere during that time.
Jen Allyson (09:37)
You know, I think one of the hardest parts was I was a mother of young children at the time. And so you, I'm sure you have a lot of people who listen, who are going through that where you have to like figure out how to prioritize your need to find yourself so that you can be the mother that you want to be. But you also have the, ⁓ you know, the responsibility of taking care of children. And so that was one of the really hard things. And I went through
a hard divorce and it was not an easy place to feel like I was falling apart and I had to hold myself together for my kids and I had to find out who I was so that I could, you know, be there for them and just like that navigating that gauntlet, I would say would probably be one of the hardest things at the beginning.
Julie Francis (she/her) (10:29)
I can imagine. can only imagine. I went through a really difficult divorce and know what it's like to balance the finding yourself and things like that. And that was not even within a cult setting. Like that was even just without that element. that's a lot. That's a lot.
Jen Allyson (10:52)
Well,
we have so many programs within the patriarchy and then within a patriarchal cult about what the agreements are between mothers and fathers and children and spouses and ex-spouses. There's all these agreements that are assumed. And so when you start breaking those agreements, ⁓ because you didn't make those consciously, so they all need to be reset, it really does cause a lot of significant
Julie Francis (she/her) (11:06)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (11:22)
know, conflict to go through those type of things.
Julie Francis (she/her) (11:25)
Yeah, did you feel a lot of like, did you feel any guilt for your choices and how it impacts your children?
Jen Allyson (11:34)
Yeah, I definitely
did, especially in the beginning, as I started to have more spiritual awakening. So I had my awakening from the cult, and then I was an atheist for at least a year, if not a year and a half. And then when my wife and I really got together, we had a spiritual awakening, like a twin flame awakening. And so it was this...
ability or this opportunity to really like tap into my spirituality in a way that wasn't being ⁓ determined by people outside of me. And so people who leave cults have a lot of, I call it the God wound, they have a lot of spiritual trauma. And so I was able to begin to heal that spiritual trauma so that I could receive ⁓ like pathways to peace.
Julie Francis (she/her) (12:16)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (12:32)
so could release that guilt and allow myself to be a person too, like to be a human. So I didn't have to be a perfect mother because I was on my own journey, just like my kids are on their journey. And so if I was busy judging my journey, then that means I wouldn't be like in a place that I wanna be for my kids anyway. So I had to move through all that guilt to get to the other side so that I could show them there was a different way of living than through guilt.
Julie Francis (she/her) (13:01)
Yeah, that's so well said. It's so true. And we always have to remind ourselves as parents, what would we tell our kids in this situation and how do we want to show up for them? that makes, you just said that so well. So now here you are a number of years later, it sounds like, and 10 years later, amazing. my gosh, that's so significant. Give us like,
Jen Allyson (13:23)
And yours. Yeah. Yeah.
Julie Francis (she/her) (13:31)
Give us a snapshot of what this 10 years has been like for you.
Jen Allyson (13:36)
my gosh, ⁓ the 10 years has been a long journey. And I don't necessarily think that everybody has to go through as long of a journey. I'm just a very foundational person. So I had to be very specific and detailed about my journey. I wanted to make sure that every nook and cranny was looked at, every shadow was integrated, everything. I wasn't gonna build a new foundation on top of a pile of debris.
And so for my journey, once I reclaimed my spirituality, then I just went off to the races with healing. I'm a healer. And so it was a journey of just figuring out what healing looked like for me. And I really feel like it is such a different experience for every single person. And so I learned different modalities. I studied different teachers and systems. I'm a really big systems person.
And I really like did just like reclaiming like soul soul. ⁓ What's it called? Like like reclaiming all your fractals of your soul. And so right. So when you're in a cult or in the patriarchy as women, we're taught to cut pieces of ourselves off and hide them away. And and then we make ourselves bad for having those pieces of ourselves. And so that's just what shadow work is, is.
Julie Francis (she/her) (14:46)
Yes, springy. ⁓
Jen Allyson (15:03)
going and finding that piece of yourself that you cut off and learning how to love them, learning how to honor them, learning how to hold them, just with all the other parts of your identity that were okay for you to be. So I just went on soul reclamation journey. And my wife and I, we, I don't know, we went on a big adventure. We had a motor home and we traveled for a bit and we went through like the portals of like not knowing like how we were gonna.
like pay for anything or do anything, you know, like we just went through every single portal of fear so that we could come out the other side just completely self-resourced and sovereign.
Julie Francis (she/her) (15:44)
That's a huge growth journey. It's amazing. And I love that it was both in the spiritual realm and in the physical, tangible realm, like that you've navigated both and that now you've navigated them together with your wife and created this life together. And that's beautiful. It's hard to go through the gauntlet with your partner and still be with them on the other side.
because so many times in midlife, for whatever reasons, and I'm still exploring this and through conversations and like through the podcasts and things, we, you know, people's partnerships sometimes that are seemingly not horrible, just don't make it through life. And so like when you have a partner that you have literally gone through many trials and tribulations with, and you're still showing up for each other on the other side, because
with whatever you've created together, that's epic.
Jen Allyson (16:48)
Yeah, my wife always says there's nothing that love can't bear. And so for me, I have a like avoidant attachment style or did. And so when things got hard, when things got rough, my throat would like physically close up and I couldn't speak at all. And then I would want to run. And so in the cult, there is no relationship building. What you have in relationships in the cult is you have two people who have been told what roles they have to perform.
and then you perform those roles. And if there's a problem, then you go and talk to your church leader and they reinforce what those roles are. It would all work if you follow these roles, and that's true, but you're suppressing your soul in the process. So coming out of that, I didn't know how to be in a relationship. I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like, even though my parents were married for 52 years. So it's like, I thought...
that a relationship looked like nobody saying anything to the other person, everyone just doing what they're supposed to do. And going in from like hetero relationships into a lesbian relationship was also, it was really actually quite helpful because the old gender roles didn't apply. So I wasn't trying to make like a husband be something that I thought he was supposed to be like the expectation station of what that looks like.
Julie Francis (she/her) (18:13)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (18:14)
It
was nice because I was able to release the expectations from the get and the expectations on myself as well. So I could really enter the relationship being any version of myself. And my wife is so amazing with that integrity that she holds. She didn't want me to have soft boundaries. She didn't want me to be over giving. She wanted me to be sovereign and powerful within our relationship. And so she really helped hold that line and just kept.
trying to get me in the room to keep talking through things. And she's also a healer as well. And so she would help do even energy work on my throat and things like that so I could learn how to speak. So I am in this beautiful, incredible, healthy relationship now. But I look back in a time machine and go back. There were several years where just everything was so difficult to even communicate or get through the tiniest little things.
Julie Francis (she/her) (19:10)
Yeah, it is a beautiful relationship that you can share, when you can share energy work in a relationship and it's like reciprocal and healing, that's special. That's really special. And...
It's so hard to look back on our own journey sometimes when, like as we gain new plateaus, and I feel like when we get to a certain point and we look back in something that used to really sting, doesn't sting quite as much anymore, that softness then turns into like, ⁓
a new lens that we can look at new situations because we've created some sort of healing there. And I can honestly say that when I do that and I look back at certain things, I don't always look back at them in the same way at any given moment. Sometimes one of them might hurt more one day versus another. So I definitely don't think that healing is just a one and done. I think things do just pop up as they need to, but the retrospect is really helpful.
really important.
Jen Allyson (20:21)
Yeah, it's so nice
to be able to see the massive amount of growth because sometimes it feels like you're never gonna get there. And I always say that the foundation is what takes so long and it seems like the least rewarding. So like I built a house once upon a time and all the work to get to the point where they put the first walls up, it was the longest time, it took forever to get to that point and you go every day and it's still just like,
Julie Francis (she/her) (20:28)
Mm-hmm.
Jen Allyson (20:50)
a flat thing on the ground, you know, it's just nothing. And then the minute they begin to put the walls up, it's like the whole thing goes up so quickly. So if you're in that part where you're still doing the foundation, you have to hold a lot of faith, you have to hold a lot of determination. Because once that foundation's up, the walls will start moving up so quickly and it will feel like, my gosh, this happened overnight. But nobody really sees that part that is invisible as a foundation work.
Julie Francis (she/her) (21:18)
Yeah, right now, so you've got this solid foundation that you've grown from and are evolving from. How do you maintain that foundation and that steadiness? And when you feel off kilter, like what do you do to get back to it?
Jen Allyson (21:36)
Well, it's easy to fill the foundation and the steadiness when you've anchored it in for 10 years. So it's when you're trying to leap from a foundation into the second story, you might be able to get there, but you're just sitting on a few studs and it's gonna fall. You know what I mean? So really making sure that your foundation is really strong. And that's like, when I say foundation,
There's so many things come into my like ⁓ mind's eye and I see like your nervous system is a big part of that foundation. So it's like we try to maybe find shortcuts because we want to be doing the thing that we want to be doing. And our nervous system will like drag us back down because it's not quite ready to hold that level. And so there's lot of different ways to like hold a foundation.
Julie Francis (she/her) (22:24)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (22:31)
But yeah, holding like having building a foundation for 10 years really helps you be able to hold on to it And I'm a line one in human design. I know you said you don't have too much human design experience, but it's the foundational level So my literal job is to anchor in the foundations for like the collective evolutionary leap So to me my foundation is everything and because I have it everything else just begins to make sense and work I always say, know exactly
Julie Francis (she/her) (22:51)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (23:01)
how to move through this world. So if you do the foundation work, that's the work and then everything else just like lines into place from that.
Julie Francis (she/her) (23:12)
Yeah, that's so I, I don't know a lot about human design, but I love, I love how you've described this. And I want to know, and I don't know if there's an answer to this. So if there's not, it's okay. I want to know like, how does that, you said level one human design is foundational.
Jen Allyson (23:24)
Yeah.
Yeah, there's lines. There's six lines that go throughout the system. It's a hysogram system. So the line one is the foundation line and then line two is like, it's called like the dancer. It's the one who hears the ⁓ the pure transmission. So they hear or feel the foundational transmission and then they're able to just like play in it. And then the line three is the line of movement. So it's the experimenter. So you said third time's a charm earlier. That's a line three.
And so the line three moves through experimentation to test the foundation. And then the line four recognizes when growth is happening. The line five recognizes when truth is coming out of that growth. And the line six delineates them to everybody else.
Julie Francis (she/her) (24:19)
Wow, that's fascinating. So this may or may not relate then. You'll have to tell me. Can you tell us more about how being an oracle and dragon mother are related to either the foundation line or any of the other lines?
Jen Allyson (24:21)
Yeah.
Yeah, so I mean, it's interesting because I was just writing this last night that so because I use systems, I used Gene Keys and Human Design and a few other things as my foundational system in order to anchor in the foundation. And then with my Oracle deck, it came about because I was going through the Lionsgate portal just this August and
I knew there was something that I needed to do. And this is all just like intuitive, right? So I'm like, okay, there's something I'm supposed to do here and it's supposed to be with my light code. So I paint light codes. I just show you.
Julie Francis (she/her) (25:17)
Yeah.
beautiful.
Jen Allyson (25:21)
So this says cosmic
rebirth. So I paint these light codes and they each hold a frequency. And going through the Lionsgate portal, I realized that we were going to go through many portals. So I don't know if you can remember back to Lionsgate, the energy was really crazy. We just went through one thing, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, right after another. And I call them portals to mastery. Some people call them tests or trials or difficulties.
Julie Francis (she/her) (25:24)
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (25:50)
but I call them portals to mastery. And so I actually set up this 21 day email thing. Like I was trying to keep it really simple. And so every day I would just receive what code wanted to drop through that portal that we were going through collectively. And then I would draw it and then I would write whatever came through, like channel whatever message came through that frequency and then send it to whoever signed up for the email.
Julie Francis (she/her) (26:10)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (26:20)
And I did that for 21 days. when I, and I, my, one of my big shout is, is I try to get ahead of myself, right? I feel like we can relate to that. When you're creative, you just want to create, create, create. And I get ahead of myself. So I was like, okay. And so my mind this whole time during this 21 days is like, you can do this with this. You can do that with this. Why don't you do this instead? You know, like whatever. So I was like, no, you need to stay in the present moment and finish the thing that you started.
Julie Francis (she/her) (26:26)
Thank
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (26:50)
So I just kept telling that to myself, stay in the present moment and finish the thing that you started. And so by the end of the 21 days, I ⁓ got the inspiration that this was supposed to be a deck. And then I started really like getting some feedback from the people who had been in the 21 days and just my own like work on it. And I was like, this is a codex.
Julie Francis (she/her) (26:55)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (27:16)
that aligns you to your, not only aligns you to your highest timeline, what's happening is that we're building the new grids for the new world, the new Eden, whatever you wanna call it. Any of us who are good workers, energy workers, healers, ascension frontline people, we're building the new energetic grids. And so we're the architects of these grids. And when you're the architects of the grids, you know exactly how to create on them. There's nothing you have to learn, nothing you have to figure out.
So this codex is our energetic frequencies that help you to align with the new grids of Eden. So they're grids of sovereignty, grids of peace, grids of joy, grids of co-creation. So it's all the frequencies that allow us to be in the new Eden and creating in new Eden, because everything's frequency. It's not a place that we're going. It's a frequency that we're able to maintain. So it's just like such an amazing
now system that I've created and it's a co-creation. So everybody who gets one of these decks or works with me, like I post them on my sub stack, then we're all co-creating these frequencies, which are essentially just grids that then we can build whatever we want on them because we're the architects.
Julie Francis (she/her) (28:18)
Yeah.
Wow, that's beautiful. That was so empowering and inspiring, but like also I felt like empowered. wow, can you, ⁓ can you show us more of your cards, your art?
Jen Allyson (28:49)
Yeah.
Julie Francis (she/her) (28:51)
So beautiful.
Jen Allyson (28:52)
So, this is
my favorite code. It's called I everything that I need. And this one I got when I was hanging out at the 14th dimension and my guides were like, or my higher self was like, this is the code that you need to take back with you. And it's been such a beautiful code because it tells me that everything that I see in the world, like my world.
is everything that I need. So I don't need to be asking for anything else. I don't need to be searching for anything else. Everything is a clue to the next step that I have to take. And the next step that I have to take doesn't require anything that I don't have. So it's really empowering because so many times we get stuck in the shadow of when I have this, when I have $10,000, I'll build a website. When I have whatever, you know what I mean? Like what's the next step? And we miss what we have right now. So.
I always say, well, if I'm supposed to build a website right now and it's supposed to cost me $10,000, then I'll know when that's the time. But if I don't have that, it's not the time. But the next day I might meet someone who's like, I want to build a website and I want to trade with you. So it's like we have everything that we need so we can stop searching and just start living in the present moment.
Julie Francis (she/her) (30:07)
Hmm, nice. it's beautiful. I see all the intricacies. Wow, gorgeous. and I can see me reflected in the car.
Jen Allyson (30:07)
And then, and then this is Grace.
Yeah!
And you are right there. Grace is such a beautiful energy. ⁓ In the cult that I was raised in, we didn't have grace. It was very much like you have to work your way to heaven. And so the idea that you can just lean into love and grace is a thing where you're the only one who can give it to yourself.
Julie Francis (she/her) (30:21)
you
it's beautiful.
Jen Allyson (30:45)
So allowing yourself, like all the places that we hold judgment, all the places that we have betrayed ourselves or allowed other people to betray us or whatever the heaviness that you're carrying, those are things that you're carrying. They're energetic things that you hold to yourself. And so you can at any moment allow grace in and release those things. So grace is one of the powers that I are, the energy frequencies that I work with the most.
especially going through these really intense times and intense portals. It's really easy to hold ourselves in judgment and punishment. When we see horrible things happening in the world, we want to feel bad, you know, because we do, we feel compassion for other people. But we also need to allow ourselves to be happy and to feel joy and to allow grace to move through our lives or else we'll only be creating more sorrow.
Julie Francis (she/her) (31:40)
Yes. ⁓ and you said, did you describe that as an air energy, as grace, as an air energy? That's gorgeous. I've never thought of it like that. Like I work with elements a lot, you know, in astrology and other practices, but I've never associated, especially specifically in this situation, grace with being an air energy, which is really kind of blowing my mind right now.
Jen Allyson (31:46)
Yes!
Yeah.
Julie Francis (she/her) (32:09)
Like
it's really like I'm really looking in that looking at that image you had and just yeah, I'm taking that in. Yeah.
And thinking about how you didn't have it in your upbringing and how hard that is to live through, but then to come back from too, that's a lot to unpack. That's one thing, that's one little tidbit.
Jen Allyson (32:31)
Yeah. ⁓
Right, well and I think that's one of the things that keeps a lot of people stuck. Even if they've left the cult, they can't find grace because it's been shrouded in their world. And once they have that God wound, they can't trust God anymore, they can't trust spirit, they can't trust themselves, and they can't give themselves grace. So they really live in like cycles of like self judgment and pain, suffering.
Julie Francis (she/her) (33:05)
Yeah. Wow. Show us, show us one more card. One more card.
Jen Allyson (33:10)
Okay, I'm
going to give this cellular regeneration because this is so important right now.
Julie Francis (she/her) (33:14)
Ooh, okay, yeah.
Jen Allyson (33:16)
So we're going through so many DNA upgrades, body upgrades, and whenever I pull this card, I know I'm supposed to rest that day. And that's such an important part because even though I've been doing so much and accomplishing so much the last few months, like my world has changed night and day in the last just few months, everything that we do has to come from a place of ease and a place of rest or else we're...
running the wrong system or running the inverted system. So sometimes when you have a really strong masculine, it can be easy to switch over. Okay, so I go in the feminine, I receive like, okay, this is what I'm supposed to do next. This is my next step. This is how I'm going to move through the world. And then we turn our masculine switch on and our masculine is like, great, I'm off to the races. And before we realize it, we ran 50 miles around the track instead of just like three prostic,
lapse to come back to ourselves. So to me the cellular regeneration card is about realizing that I've been running my masculine long enough and I need to come back into my feminine and receive more information.
Julie Francis (she/her) (34:16)
Hmm.
And is that what you meant by in, what did you say? Inverted systems. Okay. And is that, tell us more about that, what that means.
Jen Allyson (34:30)
inverted systems.
Okay, well, it's like the patriarchy taught us about men being born from, or women being born from Adam's rib, right? What we know that humans are born out of the womb. So we were taught an inverted foundation for all of our belief systems. So we built these belief systems on the idea that men give life instead of women giving life, even though we
experience the exact opposite every single day. So the inverted systems are so pervasive that they seem like the truth, but they're the opposite of the truth.
Julie Francis (she/her) (35:07)
Yeah.
I've never heard
that phrase before, inverted system. And I figured that's where we were going with it. So I'm like, I didn't want to presume anything. like, got to hear more. That's fascinating.
Jen Allyson (35:24)
Yeah, so it's in essence
the idea that we believe whatever the system, the inverted system tells us that the feminine is supposed to be in service or submission to the masculine, but the masculine is built or designed to be in service to the feminine. It was created to be in service to the feminine. So all this polarity talk that kind of exists, I don't like exist in any of those spaces.
Julie Francis (she/her) (35:53)
Mm-hmm.
Jen Allyson (35:53)
but
it's essentially reinforcing the old inverted poles, which say that women are supposed to submit to men and serve men. But men are built for service. The masculine is built to serve. The feminine can move through change and move through chaos and hold her center and know what to create. And then the masculine is supposed to then move and create it for her. And whenever I say masculine and feminine, not talking about men and women. I'm really just talking about the energetic frequencies.
Julie Francis (she/her) (36:19)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And I've, when I've collaborated with other folks, I'd love to hear your perspective on this. I remember ⁓ with one person in particular, they were talking about how the feminine energy ⁓ can lean on or hit against, like the masculine energy is meant to withstand.
like being a supportive feature to the feminine energy. I'm not sure if I'm describing that correctly. This is not my zone of genius. I will be completely honest. I ⁓ tend to pull away from it for various social, political things, and it's just not part of my work. But I get it, and I understand it, and I've used systems to do it.
Yeah, but I'm just trying to understand because I...
Jen Allyson (37:25)
a
good entry point if masculine and feminine feel a little bit too charged, yin and yang I think feel a little bit more neutral because we didn't grow up with those terminologies meaning anything particularly. So in the I Ching, which is the oldest spiritual system essentially, it's based on the yin and the yang.
Julie Francis (she/her) (37:38)
Yeah.
Jen Allyson (37:50)
And the yang is, the masculine is a straight line without any breaks and the feminine is two lines or a straight line with a break in the middle. And so they built this hexagram system based on the six lines. So this is like the foundational system for gene keys. On these masculine zin and this yang codes that sit on top of each other. Sorry, this is really deep.
Julie Francis (she/her) (38:17)
I'm for it.
Jen Allyson (38:20)
What happens
any time you run into a yin line, a feminine line with the hole in it, that means that something is about to change. And when you run into a straight line with no hole in it, the masculine line, that means the thing is going to remain the same. And so the whole system is based on a series of lines with holes, gaps in them and straight lines telling you if the energy is about to change or the energy is about to stay the same.
So you can navigate an entire system of living or creation based on knowing if something is about to change or if something is about to stay the same. So that's a good way to understand masculine and feminine energies is that the masculine is there to be like a train. Like I go on a train and I go on a straight line and then the feminine energy is like the switch. Okay, the train's gonna switch to this line and then go that way. So we're just moving through.
Am I staying constant or am I switching lanes? Am I staying constant or am I switching lanes? That's it.
Julie Francis (she/her) (39:21)
Fascinating.
That's a really cool reframe for me when you're like, is something going to stay the same or change? And the train line is a good example too. I like, I can really resonate with that because I know how it feels in my body. When we talk about that, like that feeling of like, there's something expansive happening and I'm going to move towards it or like, no, it's just, just right here, just right here. So that, that makes sense for me. Cool.
Jen Allyson (39:47)
Yeah,
it's a nice way to release so many of the projections we have on what is male, what is female, what is masculine, what is feminine, what is my role, what's his role, you know what I mean? It's just like, it kinda cuts out all the crap and it's just like, are you changing or are you remaining the same?
Julie Francis (she/her) (40:05)
Yes. Oh, that's so amazing. I have, I want to ask you. Yeah, I want to ask you.
Jen Allyson (40:11)
It's 11 11 here.
Julie Francis (she/her) (40:16)
⁓
I'm just looking at my note here. I wanna ask you.
We'll go with my final question because we've talked about so much and there's so many rabbit holes that I could jump down. I love me a good rabbit hole. Like I do. So I wanna know, like I can really feel from you, like, you know, this transformation you've gone through, this journey you've been on and these tools that you have not only found for yourself, but now are creating for others and like how that has keeping you going. knowing what you know now,
Jen Allyson (40:27)
You
Julie Francis (she/her) (40:51)
What would you tell somebody else, either very specifically going through a similar situation to yours or just in generalized chaotic transformation, what would you tell them?
Jen Allyson (41:05)
Well, I would say that self-trust is absolutely the most important thing. We're taught to put our trust outside of ourselves. know, everything, we were born into this world with eyeballs. And so we see everything outside of us reflecting something. And women especially are socialized to look right, left, sideways, up ways and take in everybody else's.
opinions, ideas, and thoughts to account before they make a decision or move forward or exist even as themselves. So our very concept of self is so hijacked by everything around us. So if you center self-trust as your focus and you are determined to get there, then the universe will show you the way, will show you the people you need to meet, the things you need to learn, the pathway, and even sometimes that might be
going through difficult things. Like you have to learn how to trust yourself by like trusting somebody else who might hurt you. Like, you know, like cult leaders, you know, like you, so you're going through portals. So allowing like, I'm learning something even if the thing that I went through was less than pleasant. There's something to be learned from every single step and knowing that where you're going is self trust. Then that helps you kind of navigate. this something?
Like what did I learn from this? Is this something that's going, is bringing me closer to myself or is this something that's bringing me closer to somebody else who says they know the way? So you just keep bringing it back to yourself and you can just keep healing whatever comes up and you'll get there.
Julie Francis (she/her) (42:41)
Yes.
Yeah. Definitely. Thank you. Thank you so much for that insight and all of the other insights you shared. just want to, let's see, it is, we're recording this today on October 8th. And I know that you said that your deck is on pre-order and being shipped this week.
Jen Allyson (43:02)
Yeah, I'm hoping to have the first shipment out by Saturday. So if you get in soon, I don't know when you're going to post this, but it will be out of pre-order within a few days. So it will just be a regular order and we'll ship within like a few days.
Julie Francis (she/her) (43:16)
Awesome, yeah, I'm still working on when this episode's being released, but I'm hoping that we'll get it released soon so that everybody can know about your amazing deck with the gorgeous art. It's so beautiful and just packs so much, so much heart and soul into what you've created and what you've gone through to make it. So thank you for being here today. Thank you for this beautiful work that you're putting out in the world to support others. It's amazing.
Jen Allyson (43:43)
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's so great just to, sometimes you feel like you have all this wisdom and then if you're not like actively using it, you forget about it. But then some beautiful person asks you questions and you just know what to say.
Julie Francis (she/her) (43:56)
Yes,
I know what you mean. That is proof of all your hard work and healing. That's exactly what that is. It's all in here. Yeah, awesome. Thank you again, and I look forward to connecting with you again soon.
In this episode, I sit down with the fiercely inspiring Jen Allyson—oracle, Dragon Mother, and creator of The Liberation Codex: Architects of the New Eden—for a deep, soul-stirring conversation on deconstruction, healing, and building a life rooted in self-trust.
Jen shares her journey from a seventh-generation, orthodox Mormon upbringing to a full spiritual and personal awakening—divorce, coming out, and learning to live beyond prescribed roles. She reveals how soul reclamation, shadow integration, and everyday practices (yes, even karaoke) helped her find her voice and her path.
We explore yin/yang as a clearer lens for “masculine/feminine” energy (change vs. constancy), what Jen calls inverted systems, why foundations take time, and how her channeled light-code art and Liberation Codex support portals to mastery and creative sovereignty.
Whether you’re disentangling from an old identity or navigating a midlife WTF moment, this episode invites you to slow down, listen in, and choose the path of self-trust. Consider it a love letter to the part of you that’s rebuilding—proof that you can glow like hell anyway.
Connect with Jen (she/her)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.allyson/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenallyson
